How to eat a polar bear and live to tell about it

Polar bear meat is an excellent source of iron and protein. Polar bear fat is a great source of vitamin A and omega-3 fatty acids.

Recipe: Polar bear meat is usually baked or boiled in a soup or stew. And according to this Inuit website, please remember one very important thing. Do not to eat your polar bear raw.

They suggest cooking polar bear meat and adding potatoes and carrots for a healthy stew. Serve it with bannock and a glass of milk or unsweetened juice.

Again, to prevent trichinosis, make sure your polar bear is well cooked. Aging or freezing the big-lug will not destroy the worms found in his meat.

If you plan to eat a polar bear, as I do, also note that polar bear liver should never be tasted as it can be poisonous and fatal. The Eskimos even go on to say, "it is never to be fed to the dogs."

Why recyclables should be burried in a landfill

Around my house we pretty much eat from three basic food groups: meat/animal, fruits and veggies and soda and beer. Since most of our food involves little or no packaging, the bulk of our garbage seems to be aluminum cans and those new refrigerator-pak boxes they come in.

Although I am proud to say that I've successfully filled up yet another black garbage can full of recyclables, I am also glad that our garbage man comes on Mondays...because the can is running out of room.

As of this Monday, it will be 13 weeks in a row that my blue recycle bin has NOT been pulled out to the curb.

Have you ever thought about all of the money the city makes off of recyclables? Don't you think it's a little unfair that we have to pay the city to haul away items that they will in turn sell for a profit?

I think, until I start gettin' a check, I will continue to have all of my cans, bottles and cardboard boxes delivered to the local landfill instead of the recycle center.

Why I will never recycle my old faxes

I have a fax machine at home. By far, the vast majority of my faxes are junk...Asian trade secrets, once-in-a-lifetime real estate opportunities and the occasional Nigerian foreign minister.

Even though most of my faxes will end up in the trash, I refuse to use both sides of the paper. When I read a fax I don't want the other side bleeding through, forcing me to squint and work extra hard decoding the scrambled text and images from the back.

In addition, most of my faxes never end up in a catch basket. I threw the catchy thing in the trash because it took up too much room. So now, most of my faxes end up on the floor.

When I retrieve a pile of faxes from the floor, I don't want to waste time trying to figure out which side is more current. I don't understand how people who recycle their old faxes are able to sit around for 20 minutes trying to figure out which side they should be reading.

In a way, fax paper is like toilet paper. Unless you're a hippie, you never want to use both sides.